I'm a student, I live on a budget and I live with my Boyfriend. I can't even have a full plate of food without him literally eyeing up my food and trying to take it from me to eat. He even does this when his dinner is cooking in the oven and I've just got time for a quick sandwich and then back to college/work. I can't have a
single piece of birthday cake or gifted chocolates from my mum for myself. I can't eat a single meal without being nagged. (Original
post by Teacup:)) I can't even have a full plate of food without him literally eyeing up my food and trying to take it from me to eat. He even does this when his dinner is cooking in the oven and I've just got time for a quick sandwich and then back to college/work. I can't have a
single piece of birthday cake or gifted chocolates from my mum for myself. I can't eat a single meal without being nagged. Sit him down when you don't have food, so it's not a reaction to him taking some, and explain calmly how this is affecting you and that you need him to start respecting you and your boundaries. This is a bigger issue than it being annoying - it's affecting your health and your finances It doesn't sound like he respects you at all. I think the only way he'll take your (totally valid) complaints seriously is by sitting him down and explaining how him taking half of your food every single time you eat something is affecting you. It's not just annoying, it's actually impacting you psychologically and potentially financially too. What do you say to him when he takes your food? If you say nothing or make it into a joke, he might not realise how disrespectful he's being and think it's okay to continue his behaviour. Next time he does it, firmly say "Can you please stop taking my food? If you want to eat, make or buy something yourself". Say it every time he eats your food. If he doesn't get the message after that, I'd start to reconsider the relationship. Sounds drastic but I couldn't deal with that sort of crap for long. Kind of bit weird why doesn't he just buy his own food? Tell him to cut it out or you will dump him. (Original post by Teacup:)) I can't even have a full plate of food without him literally eyeing up my food and trying to take it from me to eat. He even does this when his dinner is cooking in the oven and I've just got time for a quick sandwich and then back to college/work. I can't have a single piece of birthday cake or gifted chocolates from my mum for myself. I can't eat a single meal without being nagged. You're too soft imo. I don't care who they are but if someone kept doing that to me they'd get their hand stabbed with a fork each time they went to reach for my plate My fiancé is selfish with food in other ways. He will make something for himself to eat without asking me if I want any. He will put much more on his plate, save some for his dinner the next day in the pan and and put tiny portions on my plate. I’d we got put for a meal which involves sharing food, he will eat a lot more than I do very fast. I once went to the toilet and when I got back to the table there was nothing left for me to eat. If we order takeaway he complains if there isn’t enough for his dinner the next day and will start taking food off my plate. I am a size 8 and I’m hungry all the time. I haven’t made an issue of it because I’m very aware that he, along with his siblings were severely neglected as children And they often had nothing to eat for days and I honestly think it’s something to do with that. It must be a psychological issue for him so I just let it go. Be firm and talk to him, including how the food budget and cooking rota should work. To hit home, stop buying him food and treats. Stop cooking for him. Take his dinner out of the oven and have a few mouthfuls before serving. Or sit next to him and pick at his meal as he tries to eat. (Original post by Faircat28) It sounds like an eating disorder brought on by childhood trauma. The eating disorder is a symptom of PTSD where the trauma is childhood poverty and neglect. He needs professional help to deal with this. By ignoring it, you are not helping him. He's your financé, so I presume you'll start having children with him one day. Without some kind of treatment (e.g. talking therapy such as CBT), he may pass this disorder onto the children. This thread is nearly a year old... |