The monkey wrapped his tail around the flagpole lyrics

"Where My MuthaFatha's At?!"
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Posts: 9843

Down by the cherry tree
That's where she showed it to me
It was big and black, had a crack
and looked like a jungle to me

So I pulled out my hairy banana
and stuck it in the crack

She let out a scream,
I gave her some cream,
and put my hairy banana back.

"Aged and Bitter"
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Registered: Oct 22, 2001

Posts: 20462

No wonder HR called you in....

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Posts: 1332

On top of Old Smokey
All covered in sand
I shot my old teacher
With a red rubber band

I shot her with glory
I shot her with pride
How could I miss her?
Shes forty feet wide

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Tribus: The Mare Tranquillitatis People's Circumlunar Zaibatsu

Registered: Feb 29, 2000

Posts: 14257

This land is my land
This land is my land
I've got a shotgun
and you ain't got one.
If you don't get off
I'll blow your head off.

This land was made for only me.

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Tribus: Forest Hills, NY

Registered: Jul 8, 1999

Posts: 18364

Doooooo yoooouuuuurrr .....
Balls hang low?
Do they wobble to and fro?
Can you tie them in a knot?
Can you tie them in a bow?
Can you throw them over your shoulder
like a Continental Soldier?
Do your baaaaalllls haaaaang loooooooooow?

and I vaguely remember ...

Tra-la-la .... BOOM-di-ay!
(something about there being no school because the teacher got whacked)

"6.86 posts per week"
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Tribus: DC

Registered: Nov 25, 2000

Posts: 5745

Here comes Peter Cottontail
Hopping down the bunny trail
Bang! He's dead

"Watch out for snakes."
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Posts: 10108

quote:

Originally posted by Pro-Zak:
Tra-la-la .... BOOM-di-ay!
(something about there being no school because the teacher got whacked)

HAHA! We used to sing:
Tra-la-la .... BOOM-di-ay!
My cat had pups today!

I have no idea why.

My grandfather used to sing "Oooohhhhhhh... the monkey wrapped his tail around the flagpole" and then stop singing. I never learned anything past that until I was older, and then found out the next line was "To see his asshole."

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Registered: Apr 10, 2004

Posts: 3513

fuck fuck fuck a duck
screw a kangaroo
finger bang an orangutan
support your local zoo!

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Registered: Nov 8, 2001

Posts: 1090

quote:

Originally posted by vhold:
This land is my land
This land is my land
I've got a shotgun
and you ain't got one.
If you don't get off
I'll blow your head off.

This land was made for only me.

This land is my land
This is not your land
I've got a shotgun
And you don't got one
I'll blow your head off
If you don't get off

This land is private property!

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Tribus: Forest Hills, NY

Registered: Jul 8, 1999

Posts: 18364

quote:

Originally posted by katespace:
My grandfather used to sing "Oooohhhhhhh... the monkey wrapped his tail around the flagpole" and then stop singing. I never learned anything past that until I was older, and then found out the next line was "To see his asshole."

That's a gem I heard from my mother.

"Oh the monkey wrapped his tail around the flagpole
Stuck his finger
Up his ass."

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Tribus: Knoxville, TN - GT: Errator svm

Registered: Jul 24, 2006

Posts: 2490

I listened to a lot of Anal Cunt and Sloppy Seconds. I'm too lazy to link any lyrics.

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Tribus: Bangalore

Registered: Jun 14, 2005

Posts: 2627

What's all this diarrhea bum bum nonsense?

Diarrhea cha cha cha
Diarrhea cha cha cha
When you're climbing up a ladder
And you hear something splatter
Diarrhea cha cha cha
Diarrhea cha cha cha.

And my favorite as a kid was always:

Joy to the world,
the teacher's dead.
We barbecued her head.
Don't worry about the body,
we flushed it down the potty.
Some other line I forgot.

"Postatem obscuri lateris nescitis."
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Tribus: DFW Texas

Registered: Sep 10, 2002

Posts: 8467

Granny's in the cellar
And oh Lordy, you can smell her
Cooking biscuits on her old fashioned stove
In her eye there is a matter
That keeps dripping in the batter
And she whistles as the [sniff] runs down her nose

Down her nose, down her nose
She whistles as the [sniff] runs down her nose
In her eye there is a matter
That keeps dripping in the batter
And she whistles as the [sniff] runs down her nose!

That is the only verse we knew growing up, but if you google it there are a lot more.

Plus my uncle taught us these, much to the the amusement of my mother:

Chipmunks roasting on an open fire,
Jack Frost biting off your noes
Carolers strung out on a wire,
Kids dressed up like buffalos

or

Oh you'd better watch out, you'd better not cry
You'd better not shout I'm tellin' you why
Santa Claus is packing a gun

He's makin' a list, checkin' it twice
Gonna find out who he's gonna ice
Santa Claus is packing a gun

He sees you when you're sleeping
He knows when your awake
He'll climb in through your window
Make you pay for your mistakes

Oh you'd better watch out, you'd better not cry
You'd better not shout I'm tellin' you why
Santa Claus is packing a gun

Remembered another one:

Wee, wee wee, wee wee wee wee wee wee, wee wee wee wee, wee wee wee wee, wee wee wee wee wee!

When I was just a wee wee tot they took me off my wee wee cot
And put me on my wee wee pot to see if I would wee or not

Wee, wee wee, wee wee wee wee wee wee, wee wee wee wee, wee wee wee wee, wee wee wee wee wee!

And when they saw that I did not, they took me off my wee wee pot
And put me on my wee wee cot, and there I gave it all I got!

Wee, wee wee, wee wee wee wee wee wee, wee wee wee wee, wee wee wee wee, wee wee wee wee wee!

"Lapsed Satanist"
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Tribus: Tucker, GA

Registered: Jan 30, 2001

Posts: 92050

quote:

Jingle Bells, batman smells
Robin laid an egg
Batmobile broke a wheel
and Joker got away!

I remember when Joker sang that on Batman, the Animated Series. -- View image here: https://cdn.arstechnica.net/forum/smilies/biggrin_classic.gif --

Hell, I remember most all of these songs.